Exercising...

I have been trying to exercise. I only do those I like. It's not that I'm picky. It's just that I can't seemed to be doing a good job doing those I do not enjoy. Many people have the same problem too!
3-4 days a week. about 1 hour each day. I do 100-150 sit ups (every 10, I stop for BREATH) This will take 20~30 minutes if I were to do it slowly. After that I'll do some light weight lifting, and then do about 200-300 skipping.

All these depends on if I'm tired! which I always try to do the minimum.

If my bf comes over, we'll walk (moderate speed) for about 1 hour. And then sit ups and weight. Also planning some fun games like badminton or cycling this weekend.

I try not to care about my weight. Well, I'm living happily now. (:

My scan results.

I went for ultra scan, and found nothing inside! Thank god ! I'm so afraid there will be some tumor or what so ever. But there isn't !! Teheehee.

This also means that I can be ready to go to the TCMs to strengthen my body. They say my body isn't strong. Somehow, I don't look like weak. Really!

GSS is here!!

And I'm so addicted in shopping, my pay just isn't enough! I send More than half of it already! And am left with only a little to survive on. Yet, I can't stop!!
My friend told me I need counselling. Well, Shopping is my way of counselling!!

I also have a confession..

I can't stop vomitting.
I tried, and still am trying. Family just isn't giving me any help. Well, they won't even believe me. They will just keep telling me, "Just don't eat so much la! Want diet also no need vomit. Don't eat this and that" BLAH.

Although I always present myself as very happy-go-lucky, cheerful. But it's beginning to get out of hand. I remember the 1st time was due to what my mother told me. "So fat already still eat steak. Please la, zhi dong can a not".

I have always tried my best to be healthy. I don't eat that much too. They don't even bother to find out why. They assume when I'm out, I'm EATING.

I tear whenever I talk to my boyfriend about these kinda matter. Counselling you say? The last time, a counseller tell me "if your parents don't love you, you cannot force them to, and you should face it don't you?"Yes I do. I told my mom to stop it. And don't care about me. But they still say stuff like that. To them I eat a lot. But I don't !

Now eating out (Lunch), feeling a bit greasy, I will vomit. Keep teling myself that it's gonna be the last time I do so. But still, there is another time... and another..

Dinner, when I see her, I will vomit no matter how much I eat.

Some times, I don't know how to stop eating anymore..

Signs of Bulimia

A few common signs indicating the presence of bulimia include the following:

• Out of control eating
• Pain in the stomach
• Dehydration
• Hoarding food
• Bruised or callused hands and knuckles
• Frequent change in moods
• Sore jaw
• Constant trips to the bathroom to throw up (often right after meals)
• Use of laxatives or diuretics
• Eating large amounts of food at once (binging)
• Swollen cheeks
• Problems with blood vessels in the eyes
• Eating alone
• Frequent exercise
• Low self-esteem

The problem of bulimia tends to take place before the age of 25. In most cases, women are affected by this eating disorder. In fact, about 9 out of 10 people with bulimia are women. Some argue however, that men make up a larger percentage of those with bulimia than is typically believed.

How to cope?:

1. Recognize that you have bulimia. Be willing to seek out help.
2. Determine reasons why you have an eating disorder. Is it because of past experiences? Do you hope to accomplish something through this disorder?
3. Set goals to change negative behavior. Rather than viewing your worth through how you look, view it through your personality and by what you accomplish.
4. Recognize that your perception of yourself may not be what everyone else sees.
5. Set up a healthy meal plan. Allow room for flexibility. Do not stress yourself out by attempting to perfectly maintain your meal plan.
6. Love yourself and your body. Understand that some things can not change and the parts that do don’t change over night.
7. Share your problems with others. Keeping your disorder a secret makes it that much harder overcome.
8. Acknowledge the serious consequences of bulimia.
9. Write in a notebook. This method of release may help greatly when you feel the urge to throw-up or have no one to talk to.
10. Before you binge or purge, consider how it may affect your life. Will anything good come from these actions?
11. Set aside time to relax.
12. Talk with a professional.  This person may be a nutritionist, a therapist, or your doctor. Professionals working at eating disorder treatment centers are also very helpful in dealing with bulimia.
13. Chew food without swallowing it. This method may help in overcoming the urge to binge. However, be sure to also eat enough food on a daily basis.
14. Read a self-help book or a book addressing those with bulimia.
15. Don’t criticize yourself. Realize that everyone makes mistakes sometimes

Ref: http://www.bulimiasideeffects.com/coping-with-bulimia.php

I hope while I'm fighting with this, Those who have it fights it strongly too.